Sunday, February 8, 2009

Episode 39: Hide-Out Hunters

When last we left our intrepid hero he had infiltrated a small Marxist commune in Japan in order to steal their secret recipe for egg salad. The world can rest much easier now.

Back in November, our hero relocated super-lairs, giving up his San Francisco hide-out in order to combine forces with Super Girlfriend-Girl in her Berkley Fortress of (Not Quite) Solitude. However, this location posed some problems.

First off, the Fortress of (Not Quite) Solitude was located in a large building occupied by many other secret hide-outs. Hide-outs inhabited by mostly younger superheroes still in super hero school at the local super hero University. Everyone knows that studying to be a super hero is a loud business, what with practicing all your catch phrases and witty retorts and all.

Secondly, Mr. Freeze occupied the parking garage immediately below them, sucking away all of their heat. And finally, Mr. Dark had conquered half of their lair infesting it with… well… dark.

Technically our heroes were locked into a lease until the end of May, but they began looking for alternate super-lairs anyway.

Thursday: On a whim they look at a new hide-out near Rockridge and Elmwood in Oakland. Super Girlfriend-Girl loved it. Our hero felt like the place had been hit with a shrinking laser and worried about battling High Rent Man. And yet, the next day he had a vision of enjoying the wonderful neighborhood, the incredible light, and the new appliances. Friday, our heroes submitted an application. They might not even get it, they thought.

An hour later, Landlord-Man told them they could have it if they wanted it. Eep. Our heroes considered and debated and on Saturday our hero went to see another place just blocks from their current hide-out. It was good, but he needed Super Girlfriend-Girl to see it too. So the next day they went back with applications in hand just in case. As they were looking at the place, Land Lady-Lady told them they could have it if they wanted it.

Apparently our heroes are much in demand as tenants.

What to do? As they’re talking to Land Lady-Lady, Landlord Man calls to find out if they want the place in Rockridge (because if they don’t another pair of superheroes is prepared to swoop in). The pressure was on! Fortunately our heroes thrive on pressure.

Which hide-out did they choose? The expensive one in Rockridge with the new appliances and good light. The one in their price range that’s just down the block, but the smallest of the three they’d seen. Or the one in Lafayette with the fireplace and vaulted ceilings with the view of the interstate (also seen on Saturday)?

“We chose…” (flash three pictures of each place)… “Number 2. The one just down the block.”

We returned six months later to see… Um, that’ll have to wait.

In the meantime, our heroes now must use their super-human abilities to find new tenants for their current apartment so as not to be saddled with double rent for the next three months.

Can they find subletters?
Will they be able to downsize enough to fit in the new apartment?
And most importantly
Where will they put all their stuff?

Find out the answers to these important questions and more in the next episode of
Our Intrepid Hero

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