Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Episode 30: Huzzy Lake

When last we left our intrepid hero, he had stumbled across the ultimate power in the universe! It was suggested he use it. Then he was reminded not to be too proud of the technological terror he’d created.

Upon arriving at his annual superhero family meeting at his parent’s secret hideout on Huzzy Lake in Lawton, Mi, our hero settled into the grueling daily grind:

Mornings our hero would sleep in while his niece and 4 nephews, ranging in age from 10 to 4 years old, ate breakfast and participated in physical and mental agility exercises otherwise known as “play”. His nephew Jackzilla would get up at the crack of down, wake his father, and go attempt to rid the lake of bass on the new Bass-Boatbile. They had generally returned by the time our hero rolled out of bed and ate breakfast.

Then the kids would be mobilized. Everyone would change into their special water resistant uniforms and march down the long stairs to the beach where the children would participate in aquatic play drills while our hero and his sister’s sat and read technical manuals and other important security briefs.

Occasionally the adults would be called upon to join the children in the water, generally to lead an assault on the swim platform, beating it into submission by repeatedly jumping off of it into the water.

Then, back up to house for lunch. The children would then watch instructional videos cleverly disguised as popular movies or cartoons while the adults continued reading their novels… or, um, technical manuals.

Then back down to the beach and into the Bass-Boatbile. Only this time, two superheros would sit on Big Mabel, an inflatable raft like object secured to the boat by a long cord and then towed around the lake at high speed. “Tubing” as lay people call it, allows the young heroes to become acclimated to the high speed travel associated with being a superhero and provides the adults the opportunity to squeal like little children. Then our hero’s sisters turned the raft around to ride chariot style, a dangerous endeavor that involves holding on for dear life while Dad-Maniac-Driver tries to throw them from the raft.

After tubing drills, more time would be spent in the assault on the lake’s fish population. However as all caught fish were released, not net gain was made. Then dinner. Then more playing. Then generally much screaming and rending of garments would ensue as the children, now overcome by the Over-Tired-Monster, began to become cranky and irritable. Fortunately the adult heroes had an answer to the problem, sending them all downstairs to bed.

With them out of the way, the adult heroes could drink chocolate milk while eating cheese doodles and laugh themselves silly playing games.

Lather, rinse, repeat.
Who caught the biggest fish?
How long will our hero stay so relaxed after the trip?
And most importantly…
Did anyone leave anything behind?

Find out the answers to these important questions and more in the next episode of
Our Intrepid Hero

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