Monday, June 2, 2008

Episode 26: The Journey South

When last we left our intrepid hero he was picking mutton out of his teeth with the bones of his vanquished foes. Burp.

Last weekend, our hero flew down to LA for various ultra-secret super hero missions. One of which involved his attendance at Book Expo America. His hero-plane was due to leave shortly after work, requiring him to bring his luggage with him. When he arrived at his place of business he realized his BEA Badge was still on the fridge at home. Curses!

He went home on his lunch break to get it. Phew.

Then left his toothbrush at work. Foiled!

Upon his arrival in LA he called his super-hero contact Bix-Di-Guild Mistress and had a very confusing conversation with her. Then he arrived at her house to be greeted by her very confused room-mate Billy The Kid. Our hero was then very confused since the Bix-Di-Guild Mistress had said his bed would be made and a toothbrush waiting for him. But no toothbrush or made bed awaited him.

He used his special super-hero texting device to contact her. He used his special super-hero communicator to leave her a voice message.

And then the shoe drops! She thought our hero was arriving the following night! And the confusion lifts. Huzzah!

The next day our hero awoke at 5am to go to BEA and stalk Neil Gaiman; he finally cornered him at an autographing booth where he got a signed copy of The Graveyard Book due in stores in October.

Then he had a fabulous time drinking with his former boss Clair-Same-As-Always Woman and eventually showed up at birthday party where he stayed until far too late and returned back to Di’s super-lair after having been awake for nearly 24 hours.

The next day he enjoyed a wonderful BBQ and party at Bas-The-Dutchman’s new pad enjoying the company of many a monger and “entertainer contracted by the Southern Renaissance Faire.” He also got to see Christy-Finally-Moving-Out Woman, his friend who fights crime in San Jose and yet our hero never sees.

He spent his last day manning the fort at his former employer’s booth at BEA., defending it from free-loaders, selling off its contents, and finally packing it up for its return voyage to Oakland. The highlight being when the future mother of our hero’s children, Bernadette Peters came by the booth.

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