Friday, May 2, 2008
Episode 24: DATELINE Last Weekend & Upcoming Performanc Schedule
When last we left our intrepid hero he’d sunk his entire life savings into surplus dandelion green futures. He expects to be rich by August.
DATELINE: Friday night
Our hero and Super Girl went on a reconnaissance mission to Berkeley Rep’s 30 Below Night performance of Figaro. They explored the taste sensation that is a French Martini, and somehow managed to survive the first act of the show in spite of the ongoing battle with What-The-Hell-Is-The-Point-Of-This Man. They defeated him by escaping at intermission.
Then they trundled off to Miss-Rachael-Jonny-Friday Girl’s House Cooling Party, where they attacked her surplus of beer. Our hero’s only previous visit to Miss-R’s secret hideout was for her House Warming Party. He enjoyed the symmetry.
Our Hero, Super Girl, Miss-Susan-Improva Mama and her sidekick Wonder Baby wandered into Golden Gate Park to a secret meeting of the Miss-Laurie-Our-New-Improv-Friend Woman’s birthday party.
They enjoyed the sunny abnormally warm temperatures and Miss-Laurie’s co-workers fine homebrew. Wonder Baby attacked a bag of Clementine oranges which she kept calling “apples”. She would bite one, through the rind, until she got to the orange itself. She’d make a face. Suck on the juice. Eat a bit of the orange, and then attack the next one. “One of these has got to be an apple. Nope, not this one. Nope, not this one. Nope, not this one.”
As Super Girl said “Apples and Oranges, Wonder Baby, Apples and Oranges.”
Turned out a friend of Miss-Laurie’s grew up in Downers Grove around the corner from our hero. Small World.
Then our hero and Super Girl took their leave of the festivities to race down to AT&TSBCPACBELL Park to meet up with Miss-Sinatra-IS-PREGNANT Girl, her husband and staff.
Alas, our heroes were waylaid by Longest-Wait-For-A-Muni-Train-Ever Man and arrived at the stadium well after the first pitch only to be confronted by Slowest-Will-Call-Line-Ever Man, or specifically the Person-Who-Can’t-Decide-Which-Tickets-To-Buy Monster.
But soon enough our heroes were safely ensconced in the last row of the center field bleachers, or as it was called that night, THE MIDDLE OF A @#! WINDTUNNEL. While this was not the all-you-can-eat section, our hero did manage to consume mass quantities of high quality fish and chips (and that statement is not sarcastic) and a frybread (an elephant ear to you Midwesterners).
Will the Cubs keep up their hot start?
Will our hero start going to the gym regularly now that has a membership?
And more importantly…
Who will be John McCain’s running mate?
Find out the answers to these important questions and more in the next episode of
Our Intrepid Hero
Catch our hero in Un-Scripted's Theater: The Musical. Below is the play schedule: