Thursday, November 15, 2007
Episode 7: Sharks
When last we left our intrepid hero, he was dangling feet first over a pit of cold pudding.
Monday night our hero had the pleasure of attending his first hockey game. He went with Miss D-Fabulous-Girlfriend Woman, Miss T-This-Can’t-Be-Real-Hockey-This-Far-South Lady and Miss M-La-La-La Lady. Courtesy of Miss D’s position at the Tix Booth, the tickets were FREE. AND IN A LUXURY BOX.
Live hockey is great. Our hero enjoyed the action. Of course it helped that the Sharks beat up on Wayne Gretzky’s Coyotes, literally and by scoring more goals. Within the first 5 minutes, a gentlemanly disagreement over the nature of some accidental physical contact resulted in both parties accidentally seeing their gloves fall to the ice, their hands ball up into fists, and inexplicably slam into the face of the other arguer! Repeatedly. They fell on the ice in attempt to stop their hands, but to no avail. Blood was drawn. Eventually it took the refs to separate them and send them off the ice. Now that’s sports!
The luxury box was quite nice. Perhaps the only problem was that food needed to be ordered in quantities of a million. To just get a hot dog, one had to go down to the concourse and mix with the rabble in steerage. And apparently the boxes at the Oakland Arena have their own bathrooms, not so in San Jose! But at least the boxes have their own group bathrooms.
Several members of the party took advantage of the two HDTV’s in the suite to watch Heros and Celebrity Dancing at the SAME TIME. Wow. Near as we could see, all the other boxes were watching the game. One person had on the news.
Will our hero go to another hockey game soon?
Will Bary Bonds go to jail?
And most importantly…
Ah.. um… I guess that’s it really.